Monday, July 5, 2010

Alright, I will give you a real poem now, will you please critique?

Autumn Soak



Huddled together conspiratorially

The trees in her backyard sway rhythmically

The rhythm remarkably smooth, intense

She sits in her hot tub feeling quite tense



A tarp is thrown over the antique jeep

The winds lifting blowing; gives her the creeps

Wind chimes are tinkling at far away house

Up the stairs creeping a menacing louse



Dried autumn leaves scrape pavement morosely

She sits attentive, listening closely

Hot water embracing; wind idly gusting

Apprehensions ease, slowly adjusting



Breathing in deeply, senses igniting

No longer anxiety inciting
I like the thought of a hot tub, I

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